tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27076933013918011682024-02-19T05:37:09.378+00:00Diary of an unprepared DadA very average man, takes on a challenge that many have done before, bringing up children, in his case a little girl called AG and a baby boy called TC.
Alongside is his talented glamorous girlfriend CK (who is way out of his league), will they make it and eventually produce a well-rounded, well balanced additions to the human race?
Only time will tell, only one thing for sure, he feels very slightly out of his depth.Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.comBlogger164125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-66174544742754111632022-12-28T09:52:00.006+00:002022-12-28T09:52:33.613+00:00One man can make a difference<p> The Eighties TV series Knight-Rider had the tagline "One man can make a difference" and was about a man who stood up for what was right, even if he was the only man who did so.</p><p>Dad loved that kind of show, whether it be David Carridine, Clint Eastwood or Keanu Reeves making a difference despite others was what he loved, admired and was himself.</p><p>He had many stories from his past where he stepped forward, stood up and saved people from situations where others simply stood by.</p><p>I too would like to think I have that trait and only in later life to realise it may have been more inspired by him than I realised.</p><p>Well done dad, you made a difference.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-20989387947505148822022-12-25T10:41:00.000+00:002022-12-25T10:41:23.060+00:00Nifty fifty<p> So I'm fifty....</p><p>I've lost friends, had a nice party where I danced with old friends, and I'm losing my hair.</p><p>Now I have just passed another milestone, I now have one less parent.</p><p>So what can I say about my dad.</p><p>Moaney old git, well yes...</p><p>But, he was also someone who would stand up for you and what he believed in.</p><p>He was someone who worked all the jobs he needed to work in order to provide for his family.</p><p>He was a mine of .... information</p><p>and he and he had a twinkle in his eye.</p><p><br /></p><p>He was the kind of man who could enjoy having his family around him, and in his later days would have reflective moments where he was not afraid to say he loved you and give you a hug.</p><p>My kids observation idea of his perfect afterlife includes good wifi and a fully charged ipad.</p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p>Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-87629710505459003262022-12-25T10:40:00.003+00:002022-12-25T10:40:42.940+00:00Looking at the man in the mirror<p>Aside from the lyric in the song and seeing in used as part of a American hallucengtic healing tv show I <span> </span>had never come across the simply power of spending time looking dead in the eye at the person staring back from the mirror.</p><p>For me, I had the experience whilst getting my Christmas haircut (I am writing this on Christmas day 2022), admitidly I have had an eventfull year and whilst there a million chiche's about keeping going this year has been an experience.</p><p>The year started with losing another friend this time it wasn't a quick one, but to be able to support her and her family though the process was a priveldge, she was a funny and generous, and in particular a great friend to CK.<br /></p><p>To lose a peer and friend is hard , but to see at her wake photos of her growing up to photos of her as a little girl brought home how is must of been for her father to lose both his wife and his daughter to the big-c.</p><p></p><p>The year ended with the bign-c coming even closer to home, this time my dad, so here I sit about to have my first christmas with just one parent, however with it not being a suprise I got to spend a morning with him alone shortly before the end, just talking and watching the rememberance day cermony on the TV in his room.</p><p>I am sure there is more I can say, and maybe I will in time, but for now, I just want to say.</p><p>Love you dad.<br /></p><p> </p><p> <br /></p><p> </p><p> <br /></p>Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-73352887471554156992022-11-21T20:29:00.000+00:002022-11-21T20:29:00.260+00:00Ghosts in my DNA<p>They say "The circle of life" as if it is a salve to injustices of life.</p><p>There is no more personal than the baggage of DNA, as much as you want your kids to be a better version of you and you want to be that for your parents, DNA is there, pinning you to previous generations you never even met.</p><p>I have been thinking about this recently, my mother has just had, like her mother before her, a degenerative diagnosis, it makes me wonder what is waiting in my DNA and what we have given our kids.</p><p>I guess I should take some comfort in knowing technology is moving on apace, so things should be better for my mother's generation than it was for hers, and in turn, knowing that for my kid's, medical technology will be able to treat in the future whatever is concealed in their chromosomes even better than it would for me now.</p><p>"The circle of life" is, and has been even more immediate for a couple of friends of mine, I won't share their stories here as they are not mine to tell, but it's cruel, and I cry.</p><p><br /></p>Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-78071280701424267792020-02-27T08:06:00.001+00:002020-02-27T08:49:57.878+00:00Final voices <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span data-offset-key="8r1ao-1-0" style="font-family: inherit;">It was to be a normal journey home, carriage full of book-reading phone-fiddling strangers sitting at the front of the train as usual ready to jump out at last station we share and off to our homes.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="fuoi1-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="19t20-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">The journey was as normal till at the second last the train didn't leave the station, then the voice started repeating, "will somebody help me", we didn't understand at first, then someone did, he opened his window and using his phone as a torch started trying to call back to the voice.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="2084j-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="6c0ki-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">It then slowly dawned on the rest us what was happening, a mixture of confusions crossed everyone's faces. The guy with the torch grabbed the driver and the lights dimmed as the track-power extinguished as the cacophony of emergency vehicles arriving arose.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="1ir02-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="4kfnu-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">It was a solemn walk as we left the station and as I ran home all I could hear the voice of the man no longer going to his.</span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5m0b0-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;"><br data-text="true" /></span></div>
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<span data-offset-key="5fnt2-0-0" style="font-family: inherit;">I can still hear him in my head calling out for help, and worse when he stopped.</span></div>
</div>
<br />
<a href="https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/blind-man-killed-after-stepping-21586595.amp">https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/blind-man-killed-after-stepping-21586595.amp</a><br />
<br /></div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-83910436105044618092017-08-03T07:55:00.001+01:002017-08-03T07:55:27.230+01:00Summer 2017<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Its Summer 2017 and the kids are growing up fast, AG has the body of a gymnast and the soul of a poet, TC has the body of an athlete and the kind of laser-focus my magpie mind can only stare in wonder at.<br />
<br />
Who they are now seems a mile away from the babes in arms I once held, but they still love to give me cuddles and haven't realised yet how quite ridiculous I am.<br />
<br />
I have been helping TC to learn to ride his bike, I was just trying to work out how to teach him how to set off without help when he zoomed past me and off into the distance. It feels like a metaphor.<br />
<br />
I like being a dad.<br />
<br />
<br />
<img height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg588ElG9LVe3DyxpfT78gr6f8ET6hKJnIeqgJtkatQ8QNWyi1EcNHQV5jRsJtOyi3v2GdAEF2sVQJFZastWRAD8MEAJjo6dZ8vYEvVAw4jMneBQAycxqDhvmdsne21tu78kp8M0atwAymF/w648-h974-no/" width="133" /></div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-79881278228129446112016-01-31T12:10:00.002+00:002016-01-31T12:10:19.967+00:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
The kids did thier first 2k "park run" this morning in a time of 16min 18 seconds this was despite being accompanied by their badly dressed unfit dad :-)</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-52270011275456645752015-12-25T07:07:00.001+00:002015-12-25T07:07:14.990+00:00Thoughtful gift<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
It was good of Santa to put torches in their pillow-cases, the sun hadn't risen at 5.59am</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-12982772460267070892015-12-16T23:04:00.001+00:002015-12-16T23:04:24.606+00:00Applause <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Often on the way up to bed I'll pop into their rooms and make sure their tucked in. Tonight, she looked even more cute than normal, so I gave her a little kiss, what happened next though was a surprise.<br />
<br />
She opened her eyes fully and with the veal of a slightly unhinged sleepy beauty, applauded me enthusiastically (with a manic look on her face) and then promptly went back to sleep.<br />
<br />
Whilst I apprechiate the adoration, I am more than a little freaked out!</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-74212227645949692152015-12-15T13:10:00.002+00:002017-08-03T07:41:22.486+01:00A double-bill of luck<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today, I had a double-bill, T's first nativity (wearing sheep ones-y) and AG's recorder-playing/singalong. Both of them did really well and it made me feel lucky to have met the girl of my dreams and with her have the family of my dreams</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-38174291038696625532015-12-14T08:43:00.002+00:002015-12-14T08:43:26.185+00:00Pubs, walks and theatrical hi-jinks<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Another weekend had just whooshed by, we finished Friday by watched guy n dolls in the west-end but the highlight from was our kids show "the wizard of oz" that preceded it, they remembered their lines and dances moves and t adorably with his age-mates held onto their costumes for comfort ag added his own flourishes to dancing and I spent most of the show laughing with joy.<br />
<br />
Saturday was a day zooming around doing practical things and Sunday we went for a walk around our favorite country park, swinging from trees and clambering around craters.<br />
<br />
It was a wonderful weekend and to finish it with a country walk (and a country pub lunch) was amazing.</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-19490321230840798562015-12-11T08:32:00.000+00:002015-12-11T08:34:40.051+00:00 Inappropriate interest in cleaning<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today is their first show with their theatre school "the wizard of oz" he is munchkin number 3 and she's the lion, this means this morning they should be doing last-minute "line bashing" (learning).<br />
<br />
However, we've just bought a cordless vacuum cleaner that look like a raygun that buzz-light-year would use..</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-3457522359977350332015-12-09T11:26:00.001+00:002015-12-09T11:26:07.309+00:00Sending kisses from a land of Mythical beasts<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Today CK is returning from a business trip, ahead of travelling she's sent a text to say all is okay and to kiss the kids.<br />
<br />
Kisses duly delivered, AG stands a-top a chair a declares to all within ear-shot (Her brother and CK's mum) that I am the best dad in the world and proceeds to present me with card to take to work, me declaring her love.<br />
<br />
On the front (under the outlined word love) she has draw an indescribable beast, is almost its as if she knows the mythical creatures Romania has added to fiction, either that or its a pictorial representation of what daddy looks like when she gets out of bed in the middle of the night.</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-4871635439642508332015-12-08T08:52:00.003+00:002015-12-08T08:52:44.712+00:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Helping your children get dressed "against the clock" is hilarious and somehow enables their hair to defy gravity even more than normal. :-)</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-79150221944216483922015-12-07T08:42:00.002+00:002015-12-07T08:42:48.437+00:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
We are approaching Xmas 2015 and the kids are in the full swing of it (though the grownups are a little more reluctant)<br />
<br />
Little AG is now now a full-blown reader who is proficient enough to decode what we're saying when we s p e l l t h i n g s o u t so any time we've secretly tried to discuss winter ice-skating (which is high on her "bucket list ") she join in with trying to persuade her reluctant mother.<br />
<br />
Mr T is also quite a personality, when we went to the local farm shop a magician was there selling his wares, so impress was T that he grabbed the cars remote and would show anyone who'd listen how he could unlock the car " with the power of my mind"<br />
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Luckily for us their teachers are impressed with their precocity, I feel like one lucky daddy.</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-28728468174155638682014-10-16T10:52:00.001+01:002014-10-16T10:52:26.743+01:00Ten months on<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
My last post was in February which makes me A. Guilty B.Thinking how time flies.<br />
<br />
I am currently writing this sitting in the dining room of my parents house where we are living, firstly, don't panic, we havn't lost the house, we sold it and bought a new one. This of course will need to lead to the question, if you have bought a new house why aren't you living there? Well, it's because it not actually a new one its 80yrs old and needs a bit of work!<br />
<br />
I guess at this point we should rewind a bit, we lived in a little house in Beckenham and we loved it, the area was great, the neighbours were great, everything was in walking distance, but......<br />
<br />
Well I guess you knew there was a but coming, simply put, though we knew this wasn't our forever house we knew it'd fit our needs for a couple of years, but then in came time to choose schools, I know it doesn't seem like it, but AG is now 4 (going on 14) and it is time to choose schools and it turns out that the school catchment areas are so small we didn't get a choice!<br />
<br />
Well, for us "no option, is not an option" so we have to move, I know it sounds like a big thing to do with so much going on in our lives but thats our crazy life.<br />
<br />
Anyway, to cut a long story short we found a lovely old house in Hayes, its not the house we had our eye on but the estate agent showed it too us first and it felt like home.<br />
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<br /></div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-52430352644000473822014-10-16T10:52:00.000+01:002014-10-16T10:52:02.214+01:00A quarter way through<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Inspired by reading about <a href="http://llewblog.squarespace.com/journal/2014/9/13/empty-nest.html?lastPage=true&postSubmitted=true" target="_blank">Robert Llewellyn's empty nest</a> I thought I should give this diary an update.<br />
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AG has just had her 5th birthday, and whilst standing in the middle of a draughty church hall surrounded by screaming kids hyped-up on hummus that I am a over a quarter-way through the nurturing part of my journey with her.<br />
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wow, that was quick.</div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-3281678253447661362013-02-24T08:48:00.000+00:002013-02-24T08:48:00.822+00:00My dad will be proud<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
One of my dad's hero's is <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Whittle" target="_blank">Frank Whittle</a>, the pioneer of the modern of jet engine, so I can't wait to tell him AG's latest trick.<br />
<br />
Thanks to her brothers love of the book "<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Amazing-Aeroplanes-Tony-MITTON/dp/0330521845" target="_blank">Amazing Aeroplanes</a>" she now recites from memory the basic principles of their engines and wings!<br />
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I am now planning my retirement based of the future income of my little aerospace engineer....<br />
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<br /></div>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-89933713596734221592013-02-18T07:23:00.001+00:002013-02-18T07:23:13.495+00:00Worrying silence<p>I was home alone with "Mr T" when I was called away from the kitchen to a call on the computer.</p>
<p>During the call I realised there was what you would call a "worrying silence" I hurried to the kitchen to find he'd taken advantage of the gate I'd left open to try and start the microwave!</p>
<p>This morning, it got worse, I found he'd loaded a bowl of lego into it!</p>
<p>Having a pile of melted danish construction blocks would been bad enough, but he'd also chosen a bowl with a foil rim so would of had his very own firework display too!</p>
Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-40566457615162661872012-09-28T07:45:00.001+01:002012-09-28T08:02:20.466+01:00Trying out an eighties artform<div><p>I'll admit it, I grew up in the eighties and one thing I loved was alternative comedy, and one aspect in particular, the long-form insult. </p>
<p>For those not aware of this craft, and it was created by comedians Rob Newman and David Badiel playing the part of dusty old professor's in a late night TV show called "history today", The two would ramble on until they eventually came to verbal blows using crafted insults that ran over several minutes. </p>
<p>Anyway, it seems the 3 year old has the knack, as the other day she turned to her mother whilst I attentively listened and said "mummy, I don't like my daddy anymore, will you please ask him to go, <u>so</u> you can get me a new daddy", ah bless, and makes you feel proud.... </p>
</div>Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-38956839235703075012011-10-19T12:49:00.000+01:002011-10-19T12:49:11.117+01:00Vampires versus LionsHalloween is fast approaching and AG is growing her final two teeth, her canines.<br />
<br />
The unfortunate downside of these vampiric teeth is that she sank them hard and painfully into mummy's arm and didn't seem the least bit remorsefull, unfortunatly for her, she wasn't prepared for my insticntive response when she went on to do it too me, I roared YOU DON'T BITE DADDY, which scared her and then the poor little thing was then inconsolable repeatedly saying through her tears "I bit daddy".<br />
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So now I have a sore arm and the guilt of upseting her, but at least she'll be wary of biting anyone again.<br />
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Happy halloween :-[Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-16148914719647091742011-07-19T09:18:00.000+01:002011-07-19T09:18:34.380+01:00Managing expectationsAs usual bath time can be quite challenge, from persuading her there are inappropriate places on her brother to blow raspberry's to stopping her throwing water and toys out.<br />
<br />
The most tiring is the battle over brushing teeth, just getting her to stay in the bathroom and give her teeth a good brushing would break the will of even the most hardened soldier.<br />
<br />
I thought I'd cracked it last night however when I made a deal with her that she would get two books read to her if she stayed in the bathroom and did it properly.<br />
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From then on the bedtime routine all went rather smoothly but what I didn't realise is she thought the deal was three books, and had a look of shock when I stopped at two and put her to bed.<br />
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Once downstairs I could hear the call "daddy? daddy?" so after a while I went upstairs to find not only had she got out of her sleeping bag, she had escaped the bed and was waiting patiently by the door with her chosen third book.<br />
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It seems we have a determined negotiator on our hands.Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-1707294128320804452011-05-06T08:57:00.003+01:002011-05-06T10:01:42.352+01:00WordsAG for a while has been learning words, but lately has been stringing them together, for example when presented with some food she didn't like she handed it back to us with the words "Mummy, Daddy, Eat".<br />
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I was a little taken a back last night though, when I returned from my first day back at work to AG saying clearly and with the right timing "Hello Daddy!"<br />
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She seems to be growing up so fast now, it must be said of course her favourite word is still "no"Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0Bromley, Greater London, UK51.409069204501542 -0.03815468255618270651.35866570450154 -0.14438568255618273 51.459472704501543 0.0680763174438173tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-62146912206515944482011-04-29T07:19:00.002+01:002011-04-29T20:16:38.864+01:00girl meets boyTwo weeks on from child numbers two's birth I thought I'd better write about how the older child has reacted.<br />
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The reason I gave it a while (apart from laziness) is that there hasn't been much to report.<br />
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Her maternal grandfather and partner brought AG to the hospital to meet TC, my parents were already there, she simply walked up-to TC, said hello, donated her woolen blue elephant toy to him and gave him a kiss and a hug.<br />
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She then preceded afterwards to point out and name his various limbs and organs, it was all very cute (even though she was worryingly close when pointing out his eyes).<br />
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She is really very caring to toward him, he gets lots of hugs and kisses, and is constantly re-presented with his elephant and he's on of her first visits whenever she wakes up.<br />
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From a writing perspective it'd be useful to have something more dramatic to work with but from a parenting point of view, I couldn't be happier.Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2707693301391801168.post-31389404805652682512011-04-25T15:00:00.001+01:002011-04-25T15:01:42.770+01:00Chuck Norris in a floral-print dressjust got from the soft-play centre were AG had a whale of a time clambering around, it's a great place she really enjoys and its only real drawback is the "boisterous" older kids who feel the younger ones shouldn't get in there way.<br />
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Normally AG takes this in her stride but today she decided to take a stand as a girl twice her size tried to clamber over her on the first steps of the ladder to the top of the slide, AG calmly looked back and gave her a gentle roundhouse kick to solar-plexus, the girl wasn't hurt but did seem more respectful to the smaller kids for the rest of the of the time she was there.Neil Carmichaelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09976872987026728104noreply@blogger.com0